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| Yesterday was a friend's birthday, what did i do? Nothing, instead we went on debating and arguing about a whole lot on my views, which some i unconsciously typed only to realize later that it wasn't meant to be said in that manner, that i said what i meant, but i did not convey it totally, and thus, i believe, made my friend annoyed and tired.
Went back to the room and rethink what i've said, not easy really, i really meant what i said, but it wasn't the way that it should have been said, thus probably sinning against my fellow christian.
Read Romans 9 - 11 again, election, such a huge topic. But at the end of Chapter 11, it's written that all Israel will be saved, so does election apply to Gentiles only?
Don't be arrogant, if God didn't spare His chosen one, what more us who are outsiders? I'm afraid, afraid i won't keep my faith and go to heaven.
I've decided to do certain things, and praying hard that God will lead me in my chosen direction which i pray will also be of His will.
Not an easy but daunting task.
Why? Life is short, to short to be spending on trivial things, i am prepared to give up a lot of things, only concern is my family's welfare, but i should trust God to handle that.
Responsibilities, sometimes i think that is a tool of the devil, keeping us busy, and having our priorities wrong so we would not be effective Christians.
God i would wanna burn for you, but why is the world having it's tentacles wrapped around me?
Sum of it All Sep 3, '07 1:37 PM
God
Most High
King of Kings
Lord over the earth
Jesus
The Son
Down to Earth
To die to serve
Me
A sinner
Condemned to Death
But spared through Christ
You
A friend
Redeemed by grace
Set apart for God
World
Foreign land
Not our home
We are passing by
Submission
God's will
For His glory
Our purpose in life
Heaven
Our beginning
Welcome by God
Forever dance and praise
-L-
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| Separated, i cut myself clean,
from the past that comes back in my darkest of dream,
been apprehended by a spiritual force,
and the grace that replace all the me i divorced.
This verse taken from DC Talk's Jesus Freak song, describes my current state.
But all is good, doing alright, for now, busy, got new ambitions and sorts.
Well, least i know i'm going somwhere.
=)
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| Being someone who strives to follow the bible can be tough
just today had an argument with someone for trying to be the leader God placed me to be, worse still, is my other leader didn't back me up but kinda tegured me saying i could have done it better, when i really was at my patience's limit.
The other leader don't understand, having life that may have less conflict and not seeing the world in it's entirety could be a reason, but the way this person tells me as if this person could have handled it better, i wanna see this person try.
Thankfully to God, a church elder affirmed my decision and backed me up, felt a bit of relief.
Tough being the one trying to set the standards, when i am strict, people say i abuse power, when i lenient, they step over me.
Sometimes i wonder, God, why? Why do i have no say in this matter? Why place me here when you know i don't like to do all this? Why? Why can't my other friends understand?
Sometimes words fail me. And i lazy argue, because i know they won't understand, they never do. And they wonder why people run away from Christianity, the people there are too self-righteous. Yea, not taking that back, because they are.
Remember,
Some who are first will be last, some who are last will be first.
Shouldn't be angry, but its eating me alive, sigh, sometimes i just wanna be at certain people's company only..
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| Camp, feeling good, feeling like i am back with God, but how long will this spiritual high last? i cannot and should not slump back into my older self of feeling the sense of uselessness.
Things happened, things that hurts, things that sometimes make me think "how much more, Lord? How much more?"
Then i think of all the things i am gonna experience sooner or later, and i want that, i want it to happen with God's hand guiding me through.
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| Been running in circles lately, ok not lately, but since like forever, what happened to my burning passion? Recently, like yesterday and today collectively i got it back, but how long will it last? it's like a sick cycle carousel.
I hope God makes use of me, i really really don't wanna end up sitting in cubicle from 9 to 5, home, meet friends, then sleep, repeat cycle till sat and sun for church. it sucks, sucks big time.
I cannot, i understand some people God made them to do that, i just don't think i am like that, i need to do something, something for God, don't know what yet.
Planned to backpack after graduation, with a couple of good friends, i love friends, yea yea i'm single, but i don't mind being one. Hoping to work travel through europe =)
I'm being a dick sometimes, sometimes, but i am trying to do something different for a change, sigh, i wish i had the courage and confirmation like Gideon had in the OT.
Baskin Robbins rocks =)
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